Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
She said her name was "party"
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize