shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
