Hey man sorry I got all grabby
You work out of a Hotel?
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Randomize
