In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize
