omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
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