i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
