i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize
