My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
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