And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Randomize
