How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
