did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Randomize
