She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
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