I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
