Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
