Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize
