The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
COCAINE IS GR8
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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