i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
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