I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
