at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Randomize
