True but thats because hes a fetus.
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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