I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Randomize
