speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
my being single is dangerous.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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