so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
She just used a chaser for red wine.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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