I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Randomize
