I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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