Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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