I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize