worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
don't judge my taste in strippers
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Randomize
