Your tits are I can't wait for
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
