Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Randomize