i would punch a child for taco bell
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
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