I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
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