My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Randomize