I have demons in me.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
