yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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