So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Randomize
