Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
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