idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
Randomize
