Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Come share oat with me in your robe
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Who died my cat blue again?
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
