that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Randomize
