walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
