Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Randomize
