He is such a slut. More and more my type.
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
