sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
