the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Randomize