I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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