OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Randomize
