Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
how drunk are you?
Several
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
