saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
