You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Randomize
