Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
