my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
I supernannyed him into submission
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
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