Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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