How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
