also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize