Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Randomize
