What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
