Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
She's not a foreskin expert like you
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Randomize
