Kiss
Puke
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
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