Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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